What to write on a Headstone

What is a Headstone?

A headstone, tombstone, or gravestone is a marker, usually stone, that is placed over a grave. In most cases they have the deceased’s name, date of birth, and date of death inscribed on them, along with a personal message, or prayer.

Simply stated:  A headstone is a memorial stone set at the head of a grave.

Deciding What to Write on a Headstone

Deciding what to inscribe on the headstone is a task challenging and emotional at the same time. Here are the basics which make the part and parcel of a headstone.

The Basics

Name of the Deceased

The full name of the deceased is written on top of a headstone. Nickname can also be written in parentheses followed by the real name which facilitates identification and conveys love and remembrance for the deceased.

Date of Birth and Death

After the name, the date of birth and death must be present on a headstone. It marks how long your loved one lived before moving on to the other side  of the veil.

Add-Ons

Your Relationship with the deceased

Usually people mention their relationship with the deceased so as to let others feel the depth of love they have for him/her. You can begin with:

The Dearly Loved Husband

The Dearly Loved Wife

With Love We Remember

A Beloved Friend

A Devoted Brother

A Devoted Sister

Our Darling Daughter

Our Darling Son

Headstone Sayings

Mentioning the above doesn’t really say much about the bonding you and your loved onewere sharing. You should adorn the headstone with Biblical quotes and sayings as well as other legendary verses which relate to the characteristics of your loved one way or the other. This will suggest the visitors much about how special the deceased is to you.

Biblical Epitaphs

With the help of family and friends, select verses from Bible that convey messages of peace, love and remembrance.

Sleep on now, and take your rest.   
Matthew 26:45

He that endureth to the end shall be saved.   
Matthew 10:22

I am the resurrection and the life; he that believeth in me, though he were dead yet shall he live.

John 11:25

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.

John 14:1

…All things work together for good to them that love God.

Romans 8:28

…Be thou faith unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.

Revelation 2:10

Personal Quotes and Sayings

You can also adorn the headstone with personal messages and quotes to express your lovefor the deceased.

"Here lies a daughter, sister, wife, mother, and grandmother who always cared."

"Here lies a son, brother, husband, and father who always put his family first."

"Life was a journey and now it’s time to rest."

"I will stop fighting life when life stops fighting me."

"My last ride will be to Heaven."

"The Lord is now my caretaker."

"Lying peacefully for eternity"

"We will cherish you always…"

"We will never forget you."

"May you rejoice in the arms of the Lord for eternity.”

Headstone Poems

Shorts poems also add a personal touch to the headstone. You can either create a poem for your loved one yourself or extract verses from poems you like. Here’s one:

A million times we’ve needed you,

A million times we’ve cried.

If love alone could have saved you,

You never would have died.

If all the world was ours to give,

We would give it, yes, and more,

To see you coming up the steps,

And walking through the door.

To hear your voice and see your smile,

To sit and talk a while,

To be with you that same old way,

Would be our fondest day.

A heart of gold stopped beating

Two smiling eyes closed to rest,

God broke our hearts to prove to us,

He only takes the best.

General Epitaphs

You can also make use of general and simple inscriptions on the headstone. Some ideas are:

Earth has no sorrow that heaven can not heal

May the journey on your next adventure be as joy-filled as your time with us. See you soon!

Don’t mourn my loss, whatever you do  
My leaving brings you closer to the loved ones
I have left behind and all the joys the future holds

You taught all that knew you what courage meant. And have shown us an example in death as you did in life. God give me strength in my life without you.

Choosing a Funeral Home

Choosing a Funeral Home

Funeral homes came through an interesting evolution from their humble beginnings in the mid-19th Century. Originally responsible for the preservation and shipment of Civil War dead, they grew along with the westward expansion of our nation. The 'undertaker' later became a fulltime job, rather than just something else a barber or merchant did in the community, and once this name became the butt of jokes, they started calling themselves 'morticians'. Half-way through the 20th Century this again changed to 'funeral director', which is where you find the profession today.

A parallel line of ownership has evolved as well. As little as a quarter century ago, when a full funeral with burial could still be had for a few hundred dollars, virtually all funeral homes were owned by individuals and families. Today, over fifteen percent of all funeral homes, and an even greater percentage of 'for profit' cemeteries and crematories, are owned by large corporations, but this percentage is deceiving. Fully one-in-four funerals is conducted by a corporate-owned funeral home, because most of the 'high-traffic' homes have been bought out. This bodes poorly for the consumer because corporations ... ALL corporations ... tend to be more concerned with stockholders and earnings than they are with the families they serve.

The first step in funeral planning, particularly if you find yourself at-need, is to get a friend by your side. This should be someone who is somewhat removed from the deceased, so the friend's emotions will not be a factor. It should also be someone whose judgement you trust and, preferably, someone who has been through the arrangement process in the recent past.
This friend should be someone who has the strength of character to say 'NO' or at least 'Not YET', to keep you from being pressured into hasty decisions. We would have little respect for anyone who walked onto a used car lot and said to the salesman, "Just give me what you think I need, and make it nice.", and yet this is precisely what many families do at the funeral home. One of our researchers, working undercover so to speak, hired into a funeral home and underwent training as a Grief Counselor, which is a death care industry euphemism for SALESMAN. This training consisted of one day, with heavy emphasis on getting the family to say those magic words YOU do it. The grief portion of the training consisted of learning how to speak in hushed tones, when to push a box of tissues across the desk and little else. At Tough Times we work hard to NOT join the list of Salesman out there. We ensure that your family needs are taken care of and have a genuine concern for ALL our clients. Contact us today for ALL your funeral needs by
Calling:
+27 (011) 867 4418
OR
083 553 2637

Choosing a Funeral Home

Depending upon the wishes of the family and their specific needs concerning the death of their loved one, there are many activities a funeral home will take care of, from the time they are first called until the chosen services are concluded. No situation is exactly the same. Many funeral homes offer various "packages" of commonly selected goods and services that make up a funeral. But when you arrange for a funeral, you have the right to buy individual goods and services. Meaning: you do not have to accept a package that may include items you do not want, you have the right to choose what you find appropriate for your loved one or even yourself. 

According to the Funeral Rule:

·       You have the right to choose the funeral goods and services you want  (with some exceptions).

·       The funeral home must state this in writing on the general price list.

·       If state or local law requires you to buy any particular item, the funeral provider must disclose it on the price list, with a reference to the specific law.

·       The funeral home may not refuse, or charge a fee, to handle a casket you bought elsewhere

A funeral home that offers cremations must make alternative containers available

the following list is a brief summary of things a family should know about the services a funeral home performs upon a person's death:

Be on call to serve families when a death occurs, 24 hours a day.

Remove and transfer the deceased from the place of death to the funeral home.

Perform professional care of the the deceased, as requested by the family, which may include washing, embalming, restorative art, dressing, casketing, hairdressing and cosmetology.

Arrange a consultation with the family to gather information necessary for completing paperwork and to arrange the details of the funeral service.

Formulate, complete and file of all necessary paperwork, including certificates of death, or other premits and authorizations.

Compose, with the provided information, an obituary - including service information, biographical information and survivor information - and send to all newspapers requested by the family.

Offer assistance to the family by contacting the family's choice of clergy, other officiants, musicians and singers if requested.

Contact and arrange necessary details with the cemetery, crematory or other place of disposition, inquiring about fees, regulations and other requirements prior to funeral services.

Help families with questions about veterans affairs, social security benefits, insurance claims and other inquiries.

Help families by arranging flowers, framed photos, photo collages and other memorial pieces in chapel during services and/or visitation.

Assist the family with other arrangements that are needed after the service, including death dates added to existing monuments or purchase of new monuments.

At Tough Times we take the time to understand your needs, our experienced staff are on hand to help with every detail. Contact us today